A Take On Infidelity…Shhhhhhh!!

cheating.jpgThe less discussed yet one of the most prominent features of our civilization is -infidelity. Different people have different opinion on it and quite like the so called orthodox majority, I disapprove it. My reasoning however is a little different from the others. I believe that any relationship asks for a certain amount of responsibility, so it is important for people to realise their own responsibility and then of the other person involved. However, It is quite sad that even in an important institution like marriage, people hardly appreciate the responsibility involved. In my opinion if someone is not ready to take such a responsibility, there is no point getting into a relationship like marriage because one wrong decision initially may spoil more than one life later.

People who indulge in infidelity justify themselves with petty excuses like their dissatisfaction with spouse, communication gap, no quality time and some are as preposterous [according to me] as to put it all down to a pursuit of ‘variety’. Well I’d just ask the people who cannot work on a relationship, cannot adapt or adjust, why the hell do they go for it??? If having an affair, an illicit one can satisfy them, why go in for matrimony ,why be hypocrites?? Because definitely these people are not concerned about the so called social dogma, so why ruin someone else’s life??

Coming to the part about an older man falling for a young woman or vice versa, I feel there is no harm unless the older lover is married because then again it is a typical case of infidelity and to me it is not justified. However if it is love, I would support it wholeheartedly because to me love is not just about mushy talks and romancing in rains it is about CONNECTION -a mental ,emotional and intellectual connection and it could be between any two people in this world of any age of any class of any religion because at the core, love is pure.

I definitely am not being a part of moral police when I say Infidelity is not justified but I believe that loyality is something that sets us apart from the animal kingdom. We are humans and commitment is something that can be expected from us at least. If it is felt that there is nothing left to be repaired in a relationship there is always an option of divorce and for all those who reject divorce as an option saying that it affects the children so on and so forth, I’d just say discovering that one of their parents are having a clandestine affair wouldn’t do them much good would it?? Besides a constant tension at home is definitely not a healthy environment thus I shun this excuse too. In fact looking at it every justification is just a mere excuse and nothing more.

Wrecking a life [esp. emotionally] that’s not yours, which at some point however did complement yours for a while is akin to committing a heinous crime..

Now considering a case whereby both the people involved…I mean the married couple is involved in an affair or many for that matter; Why do they put up together!! Some have reasons, others don’t. Stability, societal standing etc [their minds are quite creative when it comes to giving excuses] It all boils down to insecurity .In my opinion they fear to own up, ‘ a little fun’ as it all is described at times. I happened to read an archive recently and a woman who confessed of having more than 100 affairs said that she was now marrying a man 10 yrs younger to her because the so called fun wasn’t to remain for long now and she needed stability. I don’t blame that woman at least she has the guts to admit that, besides she did not marry earlier. But I do wonder if all those men she had affairs with were all single. So she did contribute to trouble in their married lives, inadvertently though, but she did.

Sometimes I feel it isn’t their fault. After all Adam and Eve also succumbed to temptation didn’t they?? But ours is supposedly a more evolved, intelligent and sensible generation, then we should make sensible decisions. In times when we want to create a society where a good value system exists; one which can lead people to being good humans, it is our responsibility to not succumb or give into our diabolical temptations and spoil lives. If we cannot handle something, we better not carry it rather than hold it and then break it. The society is indeed changing, ways and opinions are changing but one thing I believe will not change is our existence as humans and I wish people realise the difference. We may use the animal instinct but we are not animals and it would be better for our posterity if we confirm to a more human behavior…!!!

Meghna Baveja