I never actually experienced the process of adoption, but I can guess how it works, at least in outline. I imagine that the prospective parents must show their intense motivation to assume this responsibility, demonstrating their confidence in their abilities to become kind and responsible parents, and solemnly undertake the responsibility of another child in their lives.
Then comes the “selection” of the child that you want to adopt. The term is a bit shocking I admit, but I think this is not so far from reality. Questions like “Would you adopt a handicapped seem to be quite normal during the process of choosing the new member of the family.
So although it’s shocking but i certainly cannot really blame the couple who replied “No thank you, we want to adopt a normal child”. Yet we must be fair to everyone that whether the process adoption has problems has problems or not it has helped changed the lives of millions of people.
In the process of adoption one hears everything. This can include things like “Do you want to adopt triplets?”, “Would you adopt a child of color?” or “How much are you willing to pay to adopt the child?”
Would you adopt a baby or a young child?
I can guess what you will say: the adoption case of babies is stronger than that of young children.
This is another question that people who want to adopt have to answer.
Babies have their own set of advantages while young children have their advantages as well.
Since babies or infants are too small to have memories and a thinking process of their own it easier for them to adopt to the new environment. The problem however is that they have to be constantly taken care of off and have to be taught everything from scratch just the way a normal baby would have to be taught.
The advantage with adopting a young child between the age of 5 to 15 years is that the child already has been educated to a certain extent. This means the child can take care of small things like brushing, bathing, eating, walking on its own. This means that the child is relatively more independent and therefore it takes less efforts on the part of the parents to take care of the child. The problem with adopting a child of this age is that the child has gone through a certain experience which has meant that it has developed a certain way of thing and a certain way of behaving and reacting to situations. This makes the adjustment into the new environment slightly more difficult and it takes greater effort on the part of the parents to connect with the child mentally and make it comfortable in its new found family.
Anyway, I fully understand that the prospect of adopting a child can be frightening. However, if in the short term you do not feel the up to the challenge or the task seems insurmountable, or if you do not feel ready to assume such responsibility, do not despair. The child you will adopt may itself become the support that you need.