Confessions of a 15 year old

Look how time flies. It feels like yesterday, when I was a little toddler and now a mere teenager among billions of people on the face of planet Earth. Things used to be so much easier when I was little, not that I’m too old now. But 15 years and 8 months of my existence have given me a little more know-how about several facts of life. Back then, picking my favourite crayon pack used to be the toughest decision and not getting that gorgeous Barbie I had my eyes on used to break my heart.

Funny, how little things like those used to be the end of the world for me. But each year I grew up a little, my ideologies got into shape, my thought processes matured a tad bit, my priorities changed. There was this time I wanted to grow up to be a dentist. Can you believe it? I was barely seven years old that time, then I wanted to be a singer, then a professional jazz dancer and as of now I hope to be a lawyer and work with the United Nations one fine day. Such an undecided child, I’ve been. But later on I figured that time will tell me what my interests really lie in.

Every thing was different as each year passed by, there was immense modification. There still is. The only constant force that remains is change. My mom always tells me that one’s teenage years are the most tender stage of one’s life. This very stage decides your fate to a large extent. The path one takes decides how they will turn out. The crossroads, those wrong and right choices are all a part of the journey. We all make mistakes. We all tend to get carried away. We all want our share of fun. I won’t be a hypocrite and say don’t have fun, don’t be reckless, don’t party and don’t lose control.

I love all of those things too. But don’t let go of that conscience. It will be there for you when the world shuts you out, when people you call friends betray you, when you aren’t in a state to talk to your parents. Follow your instincts. Remember how I mentioned some facts I learnt about? This was a part of it. Too much with the advice? I shall slow down and come back to the present. So I’m going to be sixteen in another four months. How I love the sound of that age.

I’ve been fortunate to have a loving family who I fight and bicker with quiet a lot, but at the end of the day they mean the world to me. They’ve always been there for me and have always given me the means to live a lavish life. And how can I forget? My mom, she’s always showered me with love and words of wisdom in my darkest hours. This year has been such an adventure. I’ve been blessed with friends who I can call family. School’s been good so far. My interest in Model United Nations, professional jazz dancing, writing and music too has grown for the better.

Love life? It’s been kind of D.O.A. right about now.

The everyday hangouts, parties, chilling, sleeping over and shopping have been fun too. I’ve been liking the whole “I’m kind of growing up now” phase. Mom never forgets to add the whole responsibility bit though. Through the years, the recent developments I made told me who my friends and foes were. Oh, I also saw a lot of “frenemies”. The current times never fail to match up to the level of drama out of a Gossip Girl or a 90210 series. Sometimes it’s disgusting the amount of politics you get to see in high school. But thinking of it, where does one not find politics? It’s everywhere. There are those catfights, fistfights, crushes, love, broken hearts, fake friends and real ones who stick by you through thick and thin. There’s so much. However wonderful you might feel at one point of time, it doesn’t take too long for it to shatter into pieces.

Life felt like bliss a few months ago. But sadly, things don’t stay unchanged. When one gets too comfortable, obstacles turn up. It becomes all “Bye bye perfect life, hello dark days.” Sometimes those dark days tend to last for too long. Hope starts vanishing. But how long can you go without some light? All those things that ache, heal with time right? Again, my mom keeps repeating when I’m in one of those blues and tells me that this too shall pass. We teenagers tend to take things too hard sometimes. Several downfalls don’t mean that the star won’t rise again. So hold that thought, hold on to that pretty smile of yours and believe in yourself. We all shall get through this. And I almost forgot, being a teenager despite being messed up and confusing, is the most fun part of life.


Your very own

15 year old

Aishwarya Verma

*This piece has been selected as the Winning Entry of the Day for the ‘Viewspaper Express Yourself Writing Competition’*