Yes, I admit – you’ve got me. I was that annoying neighbourhood kid who’d start bursting crackers a week before Diwali. Yup, they’d get louder as the day got closer. In fact it reached a point when I would buy ONLY bombs, forget those girly sparklers, the atom bombs were where it was at. So yes, it was me but that was then.
Phase 2, Who’s going to burn crackers man? Crackers are crack, they’re whack, and they’re all that bad. I really believed the “Why don’t you just directly burn your money?” theory. The environment angle and the guilt trip really got to me. I couldn’t understand WHY people still bought crackers.
My parents were ready to explain why. Now it’s them who insist on buying crackers and bursting it themselves and they get so angry and miffed when I refuse to join them. It becomes such an issue, “Stop all this nonsense, and don’t act so stuck up etc. etc.” Can’t they understand the desire is dead? Fini-to. Nada. Ille. It doesn’t exist anymore. It’s simply no fun.
I like to think crackers as something that’s heading for extinction. I personally don’t know anyone who’s going to go and buy crackers and smoke the hell out of the earth. Yet every year the pollution and noise levels increase, the ‘ladis’ get longer and apparently our consciousness contracts.
But this is not an article as such, it’s not a sermon, it’s not even a desperate attempt to pacify my editor (sorry couldn’t resist – that’s such a writer thing to say). This is not going to be an in-depth analysis on how we burst crackers on other occasions or how it represents fun and exuberance. Neither am I going to conclude by saying that in moderation it’s ok. Since the festival season’s around the corner and I thought I too would put in my two cents and tell you that we were off crackers way before it was cool to be off them and hey – I’m no one to stop you from burning your cash and I’m not going to pitifully ask you to give that money to underprivileged kids. Buy yourself whatever – a drink, a phone, a car, feel good – just do something that won’t blow out my eardrums and that of my poor doggie. This is an entirely selfish request and one that I don’t expect to be granted because I say this as I reach for my earmuffs!