As I was walking down the street, generally sniffing and peeing on the poles, I was wondering how less Delhi – the Capital of India, has done for me. What I might say in the next few stanzas might seem bitchy and pessimistic, but hey, I’m just showing the reality.
One. It’s a treasure hunt to find a garden or a public park where I can roam around freely. The moment I enter a park, an old man comes up to me and shows me a rock or something. What does he think I am? He doesn’t own the park. So, what right does he have to say anything to me? If I survive the old man, the gardener attacks me. He is afraid that I might pluck flowers or dirty the garden. Well, as obnoxious as it may sound, if I pluck flowers, no power can save me from his wrath. But it is perfectly alright for him to pluck roses for his love interest, one who keeps hiding behind the bench or the tree. Bah! And then, there are the children. They look at me in amusement as if I’m an E.T. or something. Get a life, kids!
Two. When I’m wandering about the streets, people change their lanes and prefer to stay at least 100m away from me. What they most probably think is that I’ll bite them. Can you believe it? I’ll bite them! As if I have no class. Aunties walking on the streets pretending to exercise amid their sessions of gossiping and exchanging recipes, look at me in pity and then, change their lanes. Little do they know that I hang out all day while they go back home and run after their nasty kids.
Three. These Paris Hilton wannabes who have increased the population of the Chihuahuas really make me want to throw up. I mean, where are the real men – the German Shepherds and the Dobermans? Those minions sit in their owner’s bags all day long, waving their micro sized tails, doing nothing at all. I say – take them to a jungle and roast the ones who survive.
Four. Veterinarians. There’s just one doctor for everything – from an upset stomach to a heart attack. You tell me, is this fair? Humans have specialized doctors for gums too and all we get is a single multi-tasker? Worse still, we get a doctor that deals with not just dogs but with cats, birds and horses too. What if he bunked some of his classes and has no idea as to what to do with my shiny hair?
Five. And, my favorite one. These Page 3 ladies who stick to attending parties at night but open up a pet salon to kill time during the day. Our owners who give in to believing that their pets would love an expensive session of doggy-aroma-therapy and a-bow-tie-haircut, leave us at the mercy of these beauticians. To say the least, these trips to the salons turn out to be the most stressful hours of our lives. They hardly provide any service and send us back home with a pretty pink ribbon circled tightly around our necks. Wear that ribbon to your party tonight, Mrs. XYZ!
Very sad. Bow.
Image Source: The Viewspaper