Do We, Women, Like To Be ‘Pursued’?

harassedforloveBoys will be boys; that is the universal truth we all have come to realize. A boy will check out a girl and drive her out of her comfort zone, a boy will stalk (virtual or physical) the girl relentlessly just because he can, a guy will invade her privacy so as to gather her intimate details, a boy will try touching her body just to prove his love for her and soon, the same boy would throw acid at her. Because he did everything that he has seen in vicinity or in movies, why didn’t he still get the girl in question?

Movies have been our dreamy land, they have helped us tackle reality in a very dramatic manner. They provide us a cushion to cry our eyes out, a cushion to vent our anger on, a cushion to base all our lovey-dovey fantasies on; movies provide a recluse we all willingly immerse ourselves into.

However, there are certain movies that inspire us, inspire us to be good or to mimic our crushes in existence. Movies influence people on a large scale, and it is a boon and a curse too.

All the misogynistic, stalking and harassing thoughts find their prey in the minds of young (sometimes old) and easily influenced people. They would watch Ranjhanaa and feel the need to do what Dhanush’s character did, stalking Sonam who apparently didn’t mind it one bit and relished in the attention. However, in our real world, no Sonam would want to be stalked relentlessly, no Sonam would want to be creeped by a guy who doesn’t understand the meaning of no. No Sonam might lead a life of dignity after the guy gets disheartened by her no and decides to attack her, physically and mentally both.

Stalking, obsession and relentless persuasion has been glorified by our Bollywood. In real world, no woman wants to be stalked, no woman wants to be chased and such myths that has been solidified time and again by Bollywood, sadly, find many takers. In the movies a woman is initially furious at being followed but the fury soon turns into an exasperated pout, all in the duration of a song. Look back at the number of classic serenades where the hero waylaid the woman, tugged at her dupatta or pallu or jumped out from behind a tree. And the stalking would end, always, in a shaadi. Always.

As per this logic, any man pursuing me just has to sing a song, shower some gifts (preferably a blood-written letter), chase me and creep the hell out of me, and in the end I will give in. We might perfectly have the relationship full of love and the never-shown abuse, and of course, the invasion to privacy.

With time, the chase became far less lyrical, far more offensive and much more sexist -the pawing became aggressive and you had to be naive to laugh it off. But it wasn’t until recently when real life stories of violent stalking, acid attacks and deadly retribution for rejection surfaced that everyone began sitting up to make the connection. Recurrent cases of acid attacks, murder, rape and harassment have finally formed the ugly face of rejection. Instead of becoming Devdas, many would go for such crimes and get their revenge.

A young woman in Burari was stabbed 27-28 times by her stalkers, and have finally succumbed to her wounds. She died, died for someone else’s love, and died for her choice of saying no, died because she should have fallen in love when pursued.

And that is the real love story. Love story no one tells, a love gone horribly wrong.

Isn’t it time that authorities take the process of stalking a bit more seriously? Stalking is nothing but an epidemic, eventually leading to many young women’s untimely death.

There is nothing romantic about constantly pursuing and creeping a woman, it is harassment. There is nothing romantic in seeing a girl and tracking her phone number down, it is invasion of privacy. There is nothing romantic in hoarding the girl for a yes, when all she wants to say is a no. There is nothing romantic in serenading her with emotional threats. There is nothing romantic in kissing her without her consent.

Just to settle the air, there is nothing romantic about dangerous aggressive behavior that does not count a woman’s voice. Period.

Yugansha Malhotra

Image Sources:

The Viewspaper