Falling In, Falling Out

As I sit here sipping from my coffee cup, flipping through a funky teen magazine, I smile in amusement. Gone are the days when I would devour every inch, concentration pinned onto the glossy pages. The help they provide in the tint of my nail varnish and flirty text messages is no longer treated as a manual to a happier living.

I have surpassed that stage, still wondering in awe when that possibly happened.

I rummage down memory lane wanting to discover the mysteries behind such a transition, not just of mine, but also the billions of starry-eyed girls about to emerge from their cocoons.
It all begins when you hit the teens or a little before that maybe. I am a generation ahead and the kids these days are faster than rockets! Plus my memory is faded.

Anyway so this is when the whole “crush” concept spins our world. Secret admirers, fanatical infatuations, crazy games played on paper revealing our destiny with “him” and what not! Hormones play a funny sport, don’t they?!

I remember my time when Daniel Radcliffe was my hero and he was to sweep me off my feet (which were already halfway into the sky), and marry me someday.

Then of course with further taming and maturing, the real deal comes into action. A “someone” who made your heart skip a beat, talked for a minute extra at the most horrendous tuition, wrote little messages on the last page of your notebook and asked for your pen. Confessions hardly ever happen and even if they do, it’s all kept cloaked, as we gorge on stories flying around.

But then, it so happens that other chemicals come into play and this game seems rather mundane. More hormones, more activity!

I never had a boyfriend from school or tuition ‘cause I have always been the type interested in the older ones. After a cute first time summer romance with a blue eyed, bronze haired European guy, older than I was by four years (I was thirteen), my taste differed from the general lot.

While still in school, it was always the college dudes that drew my attention. Innumerous dates and playing the whole game of being sweet sixteen; life was awesome!

After being innocently promiscuous for a fairly long time, I got bored with the concept and wanted something substantial. Eventually I took the plunge and became a “girlfriend” for the very first time. Even though my guy was three years older, the relationship was just the way it should be for my bent of mind.

My friends on the other hand were hopelessly in love with their high school sweethearts, and all I could do was foresee the inevitable break ups in their lives. Mentioning it to them was of course a no-no for they probably would have roasted me alive!

After the break up with my first boyfriend, I got involved with someone that taught me the lesson of my life. Even though my mind was steadier, the following relationship wasn’t the kind my age was ready for. It was too heavy a burden for my tender shoulders.

Once in college, and the aura of independence got to me, voicing my heart and mind out seemed much easier than ever before. Unable to take this alteration in my life, we fell apart.

My school friends faced similar consequences but in their case, it was somewhat less complicated, thanks to the lack in the age difference and the fact that both the boy and the girl underwent the school-to-college switch.

The changeover to college is tantalizing and there’s no denying that. With temptations at around every corner, it definitely takes more than just love to work out a long distance relationship.

However, here is where we discover our true selves and who we really want to be. After a long session of barmy experimentation, we finally realize a hell of a lot; true friends and enemies, our likes and dislikes, interests, disapprovals, compatibility and true love.

The journey from there is also a rather twisted one but lucid in a way because we can predict most of it. The brain surely has evolved from the peanut it used be and thankfully it now knows how to stabilize the whims of the heart.

Dimitri Das

An ardent admirer of the dark-humoured game called life! Pretty much predicted by unpredictability, she hopes for the best and is always prepared for the worst. In other words, she would describe herself as an open book written in riddles. Read her if you can!

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