Gay – LSD

Boxerblast007 is just another teenager, waiting for the light to shine on him but right now he is waiting in the line for entry in a club. This is not just another Friday night party, this is not just another club and this is not just another teenager as everything here is just not straight.

It is an irony that when the west has come to terms with this controversial lifestyle, we are still clinging on the bandwagon of tradition. Nobody is born with chains and shackles around their neck, we are all born with an umbilical cord attached to ourselves. No matter how often lady gaga cries out loud, no one is “Born this way”, no one is born Gay.

I wonder how can anyone be straight, after all what is straight? A line can be straight how can humans ever be? If only the world adhere to the aforementioned adage, the world would be a better place to live in.

I tried framing this article in many ways, after much thinking, writing, deleting and constant staring at the laptop for days, taking breaks just to attend the calls of nature, I realized it all boils down to three things, be straight or otherwise, life is nothing but LOVE, SEX or DHOKHA. Reader discretion is advised and this article does not reflect my own sexual orientation.

LOVE: Love never comes easy there is always a paucity of dolphins in your ocean, and when you’re gay your ocean is preoccupied by a Great White shark.

Sometimes I wonder how different the world would have been if Adam was gay or Eve a lesbian. Walking down the road, holding hands, stealing kisses when no one is watching, all this seems more fiction than Cinderella and snow white. Not everyone can afford to be in California and it irates me to see that now people need geographical locations just to be who they are.

Finding love is not easy for gays especially when you are intimidated by the society, half of the teenage period is spent in keeping their identity a secret like superman, batman and Spiderman, my reference to them as superheroes is not because they might be fond of wearing undi over their pants but it takes super strength to keep all those emotions and feelings hidden inside you.

If love is blind, oh sorry…if law is blind (kanoon andha hai) and love knows no boundaries then why blame a man for falling in love with another man. Remember Manoj Kumar’s song, “Mein aadmi hun, addmi se pyaar karta hun.”

SEX: A man thinks about sex every other minute, a gay man thinks about sex every 7 seconds and a horny gay teenager thinks about sex every other second. When the world has switched from the age old dating acronym of ASL (Age, Sex, Location), gay community is still using it at full throttle adding their own to the link list. It starts with:
Scene 1:
Boxerblast007: ASL?
Gay_india: 19 M India. U?
Boxerblast007: 23 M India
Gay_india: Where in India?
Boxerblast007: Delhi.
Gay_india: Too far, m in Bombay. Bye!
Scene 2:
Boxerblast007: ASL?
Gay_india(Part 2): 19 M India. U?
Boxerblast007: 23 M India
Gay_india(Part 2): Where in India?
Boxerblast007: Delhi.
Boxerblast007: T/B?
Gay_india(Part 2): Pure Top (wonder if there is an impure one) nd U?
Boxerblast007: B
Gay_india(Part 2): Got Place?
Boxerblast007: No U?
Gay_india(Part 2): Nope. Bye.

For those who are still playing the naive card, T/B refers to top or bottom. You would be amazed to see that even with all the sex on their mind, many people still want to fall in love, and follow the cycle of crush, dating, love and then sex. But being a gay it is much easier to just follow the last step of sex and be satisfied with a one night stand as maintaining a same sex relationship in the milieu of traditions seem like a implausible fantasy.

Visit any online dating website and you would see tons of men, boys, oldies looking for friendship, relationship and dating, but the minute you start a conversation with them you would be lost somewhere between the one night stand and what do you like in bed!

Even those who are looking for friendship are peculiar about the looks of their soon to be gay friend. I guess looks matters everywhere. The third line of every conversation asks for a pic. A pic is a must to get reply from many who have posted pics on their profile or have it available on sharing.

The sex seekers are the biggest risk takers, with no place to canoodle, their solace are abandoned parks, dark alleys and tinted glasses. When section 377 of Indian penal code was read down there was a glimmer of hope for all those who are here just for sex, at least now they won’t be harassed by policemen if caught in compromising positions. For those who are here for more, wait a little longer, there would come a significant change in the mindset of the people as in the end what legalizes homosexuality is not the law but society or janta (to be precise).

DHOKHA: You happen to know you are sitting next to a homosexual, how many of you would think of him as just another person, just a stranger who has made a different choice. How many of you won’t chitchat about meeting a homosexual as if he is some endangered species.

The worst phase begins when gays are in their twenties, when time and again they feel lonely, as if they are pulled down by invisible forces, when they can’t share things for the fear they might disturb the present cords of friendship and relationship. This is proved by the experiment.

In the experiment, a set of girls were asked, if they happen to know that the boy they are friends with is gay, would it affect their relationship in some manner. Majority of the girls answered yes. When a set of boys were asked that if they happen to find out that the girl they are friends with is a lesbian, would it affect their relationship , the majority responded in yes.

When the question of a sexual tension in friendship is ruled out even then we are not comfortable in having gay friends. Why? No idea!!

Bollywood screws us all, the famous adage of hindi cinema “A boy and a girl can never be just friends.” Is applied when being friends with someone who has a different sexual orientation and somewhere down the line, it will start ringing like earworms “A boy and a boy can never be just friends.” Being gay doesn’t mean they are attracted to every human being with a penile structure. A lame excuse given by many that they don’t want to be friends with a homosexual as it causes sexual tension among them. There are plenty who would say that they have no problem in being friends with a person with a different interest, but saying it loud and actually being with one is a whole lot different.

If you have a hunch of your friend being gay, I would suggest you follow don’t ask don’t tell policy. Never asks your friend if they are different, let them come out of the closet for you, don’t try and force the door open as someone’s life is not your gossip over breakfast.

How to find a gay? Just look for a tall blue guy with minimal clothing and long hair, oh wait that’s not gay that’s the Navi guy from Avatar. Gays have the same physical and mental structure, the colour of the tongue is red and they are as human as the next door boy or girl. But still we avoid them as if they are from the Planet of apes. The majority don’t want to be friends with them, and those who do wishes to keep it a secret, as introducing a gay as your friend could be embarrassing.

If I recall the text books in schools and colleges never touched this contentious issue of homosexuality, I wonder who told us, that being gay is a blot on the society, a blot surf excel can’t get rid of (Daag ache nahn hain). You might not like the truth but this present mindset has been handed down like a family heirloom from our parents, teachers and relatives.

Dhokha no.1: They jack off listening to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, they need spf 60 to step out in the sun, they breathe fashion, read Debonair, parade their feminine side they are all but gay. In Katy Perry’s words, you are so gay that you don’t even like Boys, reminding us that every guy who works in a fashion industry is not gay.

Dhokha no.2: I could never fathom a gay man marrying a girl and having children, a charade that big is right next to the 2-G scam.

Dhokha no.3: Hiding from your parents about your sexual orientation is the biggest dhokha you can present to anyone. For all those parents with unmarried 35 year old sons, get IDEA! And by that I don’t mean making Abhishek Bachhan you son in law.

Bhanuj Saharan

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