Hi, I’m Opposition

This is one of the few days of parliament I am attending today. You see, work in my constituency keeps me very busy. On other occasions I have to look after myself also. My strategy is quite simple. Since I’m Opposition, whenever my people shout I shout with them too. Solidarity you see. We learnt it in school. Life’s a lesson. Let us see what the debate today will be.

I suppose it is about the bomb blasts in Bangalore and Ahmedabad and the security system in the country. No worries, blame the government now. They also blamed us for several things. But we were right then, as we are right now. The Ram Setu case is also giving me nightmares. I need to go to heaven after being an MP for so long. I have found redemption. The government manipulated the trust vote. We have videos; we showed the wads of money we were offered. Police is blaming Indian Mujahideen. But I am sure it is the government. You see, they wanted to divert everyone’s attention from the day of the trust vote.

I am a responsible party member and abide by my principles. We will have elections soon. We need to have something to say to the people. So we will tell them, tell them the truth. The Nuclear Deal is bad for country. Why you ask? Because then we submit ourselves to America. As a proud Indian, I, we, would not allow that. We will fight for peoples’ right till the end. After all, the government is of the people, for the people. Which people benefit is for us to see.

See the inflation also. All because of bad government. They are putting so much pressure on common man. When we were in power we never burdened our people. After all, they would be voting for us soon. But now we are settled. This government is taxing common man too much, so we will empathize with them and show we care. Who cares after we are taken care of?

I have been reading blasphemous news lately. The Health Minister wants to change the age old laws concerning transgender and homosexuals. Against the order of nature and against God. How can we as a responsible Opposition allow such things to cross people’s minds? My duty as Opposition never changes. Thumb rule is: oppose the government.

Instead we should push for reservation and women’s quota. Education of girl child comes later. After all, who knows our next PM maybe needing both quotas? We should make things simpler


Oh, and I forgot, today is August 15. Our Independence Day. We should be patriotic that day and remember the freedom fighters and martyrs. But the samosas and jalebis give me acidity. I better visit my doctor beforehand. I should be getting Z security with an entourage. After all, I am a VVIP too.

(Charulata Somal)

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