One of the core reasons I enjoy watching my favorite American sitcoms like “Friends”, ‘Glee”, ‘Modern Family” is because, in them a person is able to tell the other how they really feel. Well, eventually and always that’s for sure.
The communication is undeviating, simple and clear. It flows from one to another lucidly, marvelously connecting them with each other and the message is always understood in the right intent, just as the
sender wished it to be. There are no misgivings and misunderstandings ultimately. If there are negatives spoken, the person is still accepted as they are and kind of understood as to where they come from, even in cases of sworn enemies.
Well real life sucks big time in that context. Why does not communication, dialogue, flow this way? Why don’t people react or act in similar ways? Why aren’t hatred, love, anger and fear seen as sane, normal and acceptable ways of expression in the real world?
I really “feel” this is because; there is a disparity between what we “feel” and “think”?
“What I feel” is what comes from inside; our inner most being, deep within, our mind, heart and gut tells it to us. It is a place which is free of guilt, shame, fear and suffocating beliefs. Our true self gives out those signals and we can read them all the time, and also convey it, if we really do wish to do so. Mind you, listening to your feelings does not mean being bereft of logic and reason.
But then comes, “what I think”, this contains our conditioning, set beliefs, values, childhood, social pressures and environment.
“What we feel” gets over shadowed by “what I think, I should feel “most of the time.
Life then is about false projections. We say and do what we have been conditioned to think is right for us. We choose set paths by others as our own path life, as that is what we are supposed to think and do.
We project and communicate things to others as it has been taught to us only. We think, decide and judge others and mostly our own self all the time.
This lack of cohesiveness and harmony between “what I feel and think” creates a Pandora’s Box full of complications, ill feelings and misunderstandings. How does one create this interconnectedness between the two?
Look within, know yourself. Accept and find peace with your short comings, weaknesses and responsibilities. Tell yourself it is fine to be human. Your mistakes; learn from and grow due to them, but don’t hold on to them. Let go of your past wounds and limiting beliefs which hold you from living happily today. This gives you the power, to really communicate what you feel and evolve your thinking. Expand your belief system and accepting people and our own self as it is and as a package. This frees you of the socially marketed, conventional and projected feelings. Listening to your feelings and evolving your thinking based on it is the way to empower yourself. Then really showing who we really are doesn’t carry with it the scare of being hurt by others. Then even if others do not respond in the manner you expect at times, will not leave you feeling disappointed. You are at peace within for being true to your own self.
Piyali Dasgupta Saha
Piyali is an Occupational Therapist. She employs Palliative Care Counselling, Behavioral Therapy and tailor made programs to empower an individual to reveal their unlimited potential. Earlier to this, she worked in the Aviation Industry for 10 years. Her own spiritual journey has helped expand her vision and purpose in life. It played a major role in her making a conscious decision to move ahead from her corporate background and spread her wings and integrate a new dimension to her professional repertoire. She believes in the “Power of the Universe” and how it lies within each one of us.