…and I realised it after being a wife, mother, I had no help, I was taking care of my baby and my home too. Cooking, cleaning…as like I have no time for myself…it was miserable, as I had no life to live…and once I questioned myself-how many times have YOU done for others without any regard for your own care? This seems to be pretty common, especially among women. For all this, what will I get in future?
Especially in India -
1) We always think of our husband’s first…always worried about our babies. They for sure play a important roles in our own life but we have to learn that the most important person in our life is not our kids, not your hubby, not your parents…then…who is that…it’s YOU… in all these one should not forget themselves, before taking care of others YOU love, YOU care…YOU will have to take care of yourself first. If YOU do not take care of yourself first, nobody else will either do. “Is that possible? “YOU ask. “What about my children?” I’d die for them.
“Have YOU ever considered why, on an airplane, the flight attendant tells YOU to put on your own oxygen mask first, before YOU help your children? It’s because your kids’ well-being depends on it. If YOU aren’t grounded, present, calm, and able to breathe, there is no one to take care of them…one of the things I learnt now and teach to others is that self-care is necessary in order to help others, you have to help yourself first. That includes taking care of your emotional needs first. I am not saying to be self-centred when taking care of YOU.
If YOU are in a constant state of trying to meet the needs of others, eventually that will wear YOU down mentally and emotionally. Your attitude ultimately becomes more pessimistic and pessimism tends to drive people away-creating even more tension and emotional distraught. If YOU are married, YOU must be able to keep your identity, do the activities YOU love, and take care of your needs emotionally and physically. Don’t fall into the trap of being detached from yourself by constantly focusing on fulfilling other’s needs while ignoring your own. If YOU have children, there is no reason why YOU cannot take care of yourself first. Enjoy time as a family but step out, take a walk, take a class, or have lunch with friends every week as this balances your life and creates happiness.
2) After marriage…a girl is ready for all adjustments and compromises…why? Why YOU have to end yourself. YOU have the power to make the changes necessary in your life and affect the lives of others, profoundly. That’s what the great leaders were able to do in their own lives and so should YOU. But it starts by taking care of yourself first. YOU should never adjust to something that is wrong. If YOU adjust to all that they do and say wrong today, they will expect the same of YOU tomorrow. I believe that every girl has a right to live freely, not be criticised, or spoken ill about no matter who does it.
Stand-up for yourself today and they will not take YOU for granted tomorrow. If YOU are happy, YOU will treat others with respect. It’s easier said than done, I agree. But YOU have to set people straight when they start walking all over YOU but always politely, because it’s YOU who exists too, who has desires too, who too wants to fly! Say yes to putting yourself first. YOU deserve it and so does your family.
At last..do not destroy YOU…explore YOU:)
Sweta Gupta Agarwal
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