Love: Eternal and Impossible

The article talks about love as in a relationship emphasizing one true love for life.

Gone are the times when we’d do anything to retain our partner

Before moving on to relationships let’s ask some questions to our honest self and review our situations.

1)Did we ever feel the need to change our family despite arguments or fights for permanent? Children may want to separate from parents but that’s a different issue. What I want to emphasize is did we ever want another set of parents? Obviously wishful thinking is different but exchange the mother of a one-year-old and see how he reacts. Similarly, take away a one-year-old from parents, especially mother, and see how they react. Talking about that time because the love then is of the purest form, not diluted by other factors. We didn’t need another mother of father, we may think of staying away from them but won’t want them replaced. Forget the scripted shows, talk reality, an honest question to yourself.

2)Would you consider going and living permanently in a different country? Those who make the decisions have some factors. And from what I’ve seen, there is a longing for home forever.

3)When people are sad, what they do is curl themselves into the shape they are as a fetus, just to try and inverse the process and go back to their origin.


Now coming to the point, we don’t want to change things unless very important, be it the old home we live in. We try and get it fixed again and again, get rebuild unless we’re forced to shift. And most humans come back to their natives even then, or when going around the place remember there was the house where I lived many a great memories.

The point is, why do we so easily give up the person we’d sometimes dreamed to live the life with? The bond with person is greater because it’s not a blood relation and still you imagine getting old with that person. The questions has become even greater today with frequent break-ups, pre-marital affairs, post-marital affairs, divorces, live-ins, etc. If we don’t need more than one mother, more than one father, then why do we come to realize we need more than one partner?

The simple answer is, the common frailty, quantity is better than quality. Though it takes a second to remove any doubts. A one-year old will have very few wants, mostly food and sleep. When he gets them, he’s happy. When he doesn’t, he’s sad. It’s not that the baby won’t have anything else, but anything will do and not a particular thing. A 25-year old on the other hand has multiple wants. He gets them, he wants more. He doesn’t get them, he wants them more. In both cases, he’s not happy or content for long.

Also, the thing is, with parents we know we’ll have them whatever we do and we can’t have another set. Having a partner, we always have loved this saying ‘tunahitoh koi aursahi, aurnahitoh koi aursahi’ meaning if not you, someone else, and so on. It’s basically for those who aren’t successful in love, and not for those who like to want more than they have.

There are also great people who, have one single person who they will have for life, but will still keep searching for others for pleasure. For them, there’s nothing to say really. They’ve been wronged by a cultural shift but just one thing, if you ever love someone truly and would like to give up everything for that person, you’ll remember what all you did and you’ll probably be thinking the same is true for the other person as the demon is in your mind. There’s an interesting forward sms too regarding that.

It could also be attributed to the tensions and depression. Today, everyone is in depression, so how will they solve the problem of their partner? When the sky is blue, they have a great time, but when sun starts to rise, they go back in search of shade. It’s an attitude problem. We are the generation who’ll call themselves the problem solvers, and can do anything for the friends is what we say. But we can’t constantly go on with a nagging partner all our life, or even an year or two for that matter. And it’s not depression we blame. It’s the ease of getting away with anything after having made the best use already according to us.

So what is the solution? I don’t know. I guess if you love your partner enough, you’ll not need anyone else in life for that position. The solution is too simple to really apply that we forget and search for complex solutions.

Raghav Gautam