Love Letter


My dearest Sweetsteak,


It has been far too long, my love. I lost you in drowning waves of vegetarianism. Forgive me for my fickleness. It was a grievous fault to have let you go for even a second and grievously have I answered it. I will never lose myself in these false trends, ever again.

I want to feel your pink tenderness against my incisors. I want to know your moistness in my mouth. I want to chew on you with the irrepressible passion boiling inside me after what seems to be millennia of abstinence.

Come back to me and I will be your eternal slave. Never again will I touch any vitamin infested vegetable. Let it be coloured with all the shades of the rainbow, it will not tempt me. Nothing will wrench me away from you reassuring, sinuous frame.

I would never have strayed but for this cursed festival and this cursed religion that is blind to the inviolability of true love. Its puritanical day long celebrations have separated us. Do not punish me for the machinations of religion, I beg you. I will never falter again.

Come to me my love; fill my mouth again with your blissful flavor. End this unbearable lent. Forgive this erring, longing meat eater.

Yours ravenously,


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