Love Note

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Dear L,

I told you everything right from the start. I didn’t wonder back then, how we fell into this friendship of ours – you talking about your life and me talking about how much I loved your best friend.

It’s strange. I didn’t wonder why you would consent to listen to me harp on and on. You were with me for every step. I called you to complain, to crib, to explain, to wonder, to think, to cry alone in a corner of my house when she crushed me one day with the games she played so innocently.

But why didn’t I ever see it from your side? I leaned on you desperately, as I looked ahead at someone always walking away.

That night when you told me about your feelings, I was still too blind to see. I used you even more, knowing you wouldn’t leave me now. You couldn’t leave me now.

I’m sorry now.

Not because of what I did. Not because of how you must have felt all those nights when I could only talk about her.

I’m sorry for me. I’m sorry now when we must part ways and you’re walking away, because I can feel something break inside me. And I can’t believe I’ve been such a fool.

I’m sorry because I feel true emptiness today. And because I have to know what heartbreak is, without knowing what true love is like. As do you.

I’m sorry.

N.