Numbing the Numb-ed

I am sure this numbness is somewhere unwarranted. Rebelling had always been cool, but such conformity is painstaking. The conformity in viewing everything as being impossibly capable of holding onto. Flashes of brilliance, proving to be highly deceptive, transfiguring to a symbolic nihility.

I had wished you were a star, especially this bright one right ahead, guiding me to surreptitiousness. Of whether you were any star at all let alone this particular one; I was quite naïve. Drawing towards you I felt a certain calm not knowing what was yet to be unfolded.

I had once been walking besides the shore, oblivious of the sand castles being ruined by the
gushing water, only to realise later that the only castle I constructed, remained untouched among the ruins. Was it a sign, was the sea finally speaking?

You had once felt I was an abstract bore; confessing the Absolute absolute vagueness about me. The incoherence, which epitomised a certain being of mine. I had laughed. I still am laughing, though nervously now.

I am sure this crowd is illusionary. People walking up and down; hurriedly escaping the impregnable clutches of time. Destruction scientifically so believable, yet economically unreasonable. Science and economics failing to converge as they were meant to; fumbling to bless us some bliss.

I had wished you would smile at brightness, lighting my own dismal deviance. Of course you lit up us all, barring my nonchalance, which was ever so bright and promising. I wished on with poetry, pausing to glance at the florescent glimmering advertisements.

I had once been to an anti-war demonstration, oblivious to the flags, taking note of the hardly inspiring romance between “us” and “them”. I also took note of you, your calm demeanour threatening to spark storms which were never meant to be.

You had once felt irritated, not just with the thick cigar, but also with me for being hardly attentive. Romanticised poetry anyone? I had laughed. I still am laughing, though
hardly now.

Soheb Niazi