Parent: child

Is it the place or situation that mends people? While I try to answer such question, it is vague replies that I get in return. All through my life I have been haunted with questions like this and have thereby searched for answers too. The answers were deadly at times, sometimes they were extremely mundane and at other times they were disturbing and annoying. However, it was life that provided me with the answer and thereby helped me understand. I began to understand life through life itself and fought to get hold of the answers and restore them safely.

It was this recent incident of the untimely death of Md. Azharuddin’s son that brought forward yet another haunting question. The question of parenting in India is what I am trying to analyze at this moment and thereby working to decipher a few answers. The very aspect of grooming one’s child and holding their hands to adulthood seems like a cakewalk to most couples, and why not? Giving birth is one of the most natural habits that one gets to teach oneself without any sort of a formal brief.

However, the universal process of birth gets that nudge when one tries to raise their children in a special way distinctly different from the other. The question of indulgences thus arises and effectively creates that distinguishing factor to mark one parent from the other.

Nevertheless, the effect of this separation of one individual from another gives rise to turbulence and incidents like the one we encountered just a few days back. Luxuries and the question of what one can provide to their son or daughter gives rise to the question of differences and categories. The universal appeal of the concept of parent and children undergoes an ultimate shift when it comes to the idea of providing.

Individuals in our country are mostly married to fulfill their bodily needs, which before marriage is said to be a taboo. However, soon after the couple ties the knot they are welcome to indulge in every aspect of the body game, which until now was a shame. This mere act does not really stop at that point of just act but, ultimately forces them to increase their family without any notice and take responsibilities. Grooming of a child and successfully parenting them, is something that unconsciously creeps in to the couple’s life.

However, what is disturbing is the path they adopt to nurture their little one. The idea of raising a child is thus observed as more of a responsibility pricked into their life rather, than something they would be consciously eager to take up. However, over indulgence is the other aspect of how most parents try to curb out the idea of raising a child and quite sadly end up with destruction and losing control of life. Parents in India can be sub-divided quite effectively into several distinct groups based on the way they attend to their children.

The way they try to indulge in to their kid’s needs and thereby work towards fulfilling them is quite interesting and at times intriguing as well. It is a part of a parent’s life, to go overboard at times to meet the credentials of being a parent. However, what seems quite sad is that the outcome thus attained is never too rosy and mostly affects numerous lives too.

There is a sudden ego that gets attached to one as soon as they turn father or mother. This sudden upsurge of an ego quotient can be held responsible for the numerous loose ends created by them. Whether one becomes a parent at too young an age, or they choose and decide for the same at a more ripe age…the ego unfortunately lurks at every point. Suppressing this ego is more of allowing your child to rule over the domestic front and thereby result in to either unconditional positivity or lead to tremendous downfall.

However, maintaining a balance is something we do not normally come across in our daily lives. What happened to our former captain’s son is nothing new in terms of the wholesome incident and similar incidents have occurred in the past in a variety of ways to other socialites as well. This is a sheer case of suppressing your parental ego and allowing your child the upper hand.

The idea of buying a two-wheeler before age is not indulgence of course and gives out signs of misconduct. However, allowing your child to rule from a young age gives way to him/her to project undue demands towards you. Probably controlling them at that point would lead to more turmoil. MD thought so when he decided to pamper his son with that piece of metal to ride.

Coming back to far inferior families, we come across a totally different picture. The scene shift puts the parents in that ruling chair and projects them within a no compromise zone. They are the people who call themselves the domestic rulers and pile up all their aspirations, failures, successes and even untold, unknown wishes on their children. Unfortunately the pressure on the child reaches its brim too fast and finally leads to some undue deaths and suicide

Nevertheless, these are the children who cannot fight and unfortunately give themselves to death, the ultimate reliever. However, the unfortunate mass has to survive with loads of grudges and untold truths. Life goes on for them
and they finally pass on the same parent super ego to their kids in the long run.

Darwin did show us through experiments that it is only because of environmental conditions and extreme survival problems that a species moulds itself over generations to survive on the earth. However, it is quite unfortunate as how
quickly the parent-child tussle has moved on to its post-modern generation without much of a forcible environmental change.

Life observes its own melody and keeps churning out several memories at brief intervals. However, it is the memory of repentance and sacrifices that completely clouds the family structure. At this point I wish to question to both the parents and child as to how we can relieve ourselves from this crazy inferno and thereby bring about that balance which Shakespeare has always demanded nature to maintain. The question of understanding and plucking out all the additional feathers from one’s own structure will help each one maintain a more humanly face and will thereby force one to be more human rather than anything else.

Anurima Das