Purity of an Apology

I do not wish to cross paths years later and have to dive into retrospection mode to rummage through the old atrium of memories, and relive. I do not wish to protract precious memoirs, but have them marred by the incessant nagging of old Regret. I do not wish to proceed through time and lament how things might have been different. I do not wish to take chances. I do not wish to be able to write sentences like – ‘I wish things were better.’ I want to make things better. I want to be a better person. Hence, I wish to apologize.

To a higher tribe though we belong, we seldom act like one.

Of course everybody has a gray streak in them, of course everybody makes mistakes, but what succeeds this is what makes us. At some point in life, each of us is obviously going to hurt someone, in some way, sans will or not. So, it was better we realized that if we hurt somebody, we also hold the ability to make right again. But the How part is where it gets uncertain for us. Well, it shouldn’t.

Most times than not, we tend to get caught up in our own vices of a sizable ego, willful vanity or just a stuck up persona and thereby fail to fathom the simpler joys that await us the other side of a simple apology. When I say apology, it does not imply that things MUST get better after it, it simply means, apologizing for a wrong and ridding yourself of any vestige of the guilt that might have stayed along after the concerned committed mistake, and feeling yourself feel better. Much better!

All of this I know for a reason – I’ve been an ignorant self-important 18 year old and behaved like a lesser being, pointing fingers when discussion cropped but I also did myself a favour and realized what was much better – A sincere apology. An apology that did not bring with itself amends of any kind, that did not mend the fraying edges of some precious bonds, that did not revert things back to how they were but pure, guilt-less, abundant joy. So, before you go on in time and regret in retrospection, apologize. Get your guts together, if you must!

Khaled Hosseini by the way, was very true when he said, ‘There is always a way to be good again.’

Amrita Lall

18 years old and a new believer in altruism for a religion. At times, the wont-shut-up-will go on-for-hours talker, and at other times, the silent brooding one! An enthusiastic reader. Loves poetry and everything to do with words! Keeps finding new things to ponder about, for instance, at present, her growing conscience!