Retail Therapy, as explained by Urban Dictionary:
(psst: it lets you in on the latest and the coolest jargons around so you don’t make a fool of yourself, by the way)
Retail Therapy: It really works! When a girl is bummed out about something, she can go shopping and it makes her feel so so much better
Surprisingly, I agree with the above definition. I say surprisingly because as a Gemini, it takes a lot for me to actually go ahead and agree with anyone or anything. This could have something to do with the insanely strong streak of stubbornness that is within all Gemini’s or our inability to decide anything till such time that the ‘train’ is just about to hit us. What I do know for certain is that Retail Therapy is currently the only source of positivity in my life that lets me believe that the world is still worth living in and is a step towards finding my inner peace.
Don’t get me wrong. I have had loads of experiences which would put any pseudo shopaholic off the art of shopping. Some examples being, clothes that I fall in love with and absolutely need are not available in my size (happens sometimes) or the shoes that I fall in love with and absolutely need are not available in my size (happens ALL the time). Well, the shoe problem could also be due to the fact that I have gigantic feet (I am a size 41). But that is too much information and I am digressing. But in spite of these experiences the smell of a shop, any shop with clean and new clothes and new shiny shoes makes me want to cry. The happy tears and behave I like a groupie following a band or a devotee who, well, meets the Pope or the Dalai Lama but in my case my object of devotion is the maker of the wonderful items that the shops sell.
I stand by the title for this article. Retail Therapy IS extremely beneficial to health. Like how laughter is supposed to be the best pain killer or something, Retail Therapy is up somewhere, crying and collecting its trophy, as the best therapy ever. E-V-E-R! To substantiate my claim I have provided the following steps. Follow to enter nirvana-
- Step 1 – Leaving home: Try on 10 different outfits before deciding there is nothing to wear. Hence the trip, duh!
- Step 2 – The warm up: Power walk into the mall, (running would make it look stupid) and slowly turn your neck from left to right to take in the sights
- Step 3 – Zero in on a store and walk in.
- Step 4 – Take 4-5 complete rounds of the store piling on the clothes to try in trial bags
- Step 5 – Head for the trial room. Stand in line while holding all the clothes to try
- Step 6 – Glare at anyone who tries to cut the line.
- Step 7 – Spend the next half hour happily trying on clothes. I do not need to tell you the effort required and the energy.
- Step 8 – Repeat Steps 3-7 as many times
All the walking equals the weekly requirement of cardio. Weight training helps build your triceps/biceps and tones arms as you end up carrying heavy bags all around. Emotionally it works wonders ‘cause you WILL buy something, anything. I have yet to see someone leave empty handed from the mall no matter the bad fit of clothes or shoes or the wrong colour. This also explains why we never have anything to wear but that is a discussion for another day. It leads to a fresh dewy glow on the face as the feel good hormone thingy is released and you smile and are much nicer to people and who knows? You might even end up with a skip in your step leading to more exercise. Are you taking notes, ‘cause the health benefits just keep on coming.
- It also helps in consuming that chocolate dessert for the much needed sugar levels you require to ransack the rest of the shop / mall.
Do you, my dear readers, still beg to differ?
And if you are now saying “well yeah, but what about the men (cause clearly the above applies only to women), let me tell you why it applies to the male of our species as well:
Step 1- Go to a shop. Closest departmental store works just fine.
Step 2- Run around for 5 minutes desperately hunting, searching for the necessity.
Step 3- Lunge for the first suitable product,
Step 4 – Dash to the nearest checkout counter. If the line is long, hop from 1 foot to the other, because well being in the store for any longer than necessary will just not do
Step 4- Throw the money at the cashier, don’t check the bill and run out.
Step 5- Take deep breaths.
Step 6 – Now you can drink all the beer you want. Hey you just burnt some calories!!
And you wonder why my title says what it does.
Single, 20 something single who loves shoes, who loves shopping, who loves embarrassing herself and tries to love her work.