It’s like each day starts with the same thought. I am not talking about the one that comes just as you open your eyes and sit up. It’s the one that comes just after. Life passing you by, each day, as it turns on its head, from day to night and then again night to day. What happens in between, almost always gives you a feeling of moderate to complete helplessness, guilty exasperation. We regret the things we have not done, the money we haven’t been able to earn yet, the degrees we haven’t acquired, the girls we missed out talking to.
We regret not trying out the new dish in the cafeteria, not catching the new flick that everybody’s been talking about. Life is like a stockpile of missed chances. The more we can remember, the more our troubles are. And we do remember them. The big ones, the not so big ones…everything. We may not be willing to say that out loud but we hate to lose track of our failures. In a way, it’s like a survival mechanism. We learn from our mistakes; we get better.
Now this is where we take leave of our more fortunate comrades. People who fell and then rose up to reach for glory. Their story ends right here. They have what they wanted, what others wanted out of them and will probably have everything that they want now at some point in the future. What of those petty, good for nothing souls who keep falling and then fall again. Arre baba I know Edison. He invented the gramophone, gave us the light bulb. He did it after trying a zillion times.
The point of the matter is that he did it. What if he had not? Well, I agree Edison’s failure as a scientist would have been the least of our worries then, but the fact is that no one would know his name. Children wouldn’t be learning about the eccentric little partially deaf scientist who gave us the magic of light.
We all want the same things in life. Some more than others. Here is the problem. The ever increasing gap between demand and supply. Forget fuel and vegetable prices. Success by far, is the highest on the list of inflation. Most of us go through random facebook profiles each day, I know I do. The part which makes the ritual interesting is the number of people who have allegedly made it big in their lives and still have the time to manage and update their pages. Even I have the time to do that.
The problem is there is not much to update. I salute the people who live abroad, have high paying jobs, have beautiful wives and cherubic children. Even I would like to have all those things some day, not necessarily in that order even. Maybe meeting these people and getting their valuable advice would mitigate the trauma we lesser ones face each day somehow. We can but hope.
What comes after you have finished admiring the kind of classy life that these successful people lead. Then, you turn green. That guy sat next to you in class, had the IQ the same as the size of the shoes he wears, how the hell does he manage to land in some city you may have not even heard about, working for some company which pays him in one month that your God forsaken company pays you in a year. Who in the name of the devil is that chick who he has his arms around in the new pic he’s just posted. What the [email protected]#k???
The girl who sat on the last bench and you probably never noticed in your school days, her name comes up on your suggestions list one day. You take a closer look and try to ascertain whether it’s the same person. Difficult it may be, because she’s nothing like the way you had imagined she’d turn out to be. She’s all grown up. She has her husband alongside her in the picture who might not bring out the most favorable response from you at first glance. Then it hits you, the photo; the surroundings look familiar although not some place you have been to, but still. Yes, it’s freaking NY Times square. Shit Shit Shit!
Where are my books, I need to study for my CAT exams now. Will think about this stuff again, when I have time (its sooner than you think).