A couple of days ago I read this article on the Bangalore Mirror that went with the header ‘More women in the city hit the abort button.’ I am torn in deciding the tone of this statement. Is it an accusation or is just the result of a random survey taken by a random agency (that perhaps does not agree with the concept of abortion?) At this juncture I am going to ignore the sexist undertone of the statement for I have something else on my mind and I will not talk about rape victims either, that would be a digression from the topic I want to discuss.

I recently read of Clinics in the US solely dedicated to women opting for abortion, largely touted as ‘abortion clinics’, that are subject to various forms of violence and larceny by people or groups who are against the concept of abortion. The doctors, the workers and the patients there are harassed, terrorized, threatened, and in many cases physically harmed by these self proclaimed crusaders who perpetuate a theory that a child is the gift of the gods, its coming down to earth inside a woman’s womb is for a purpose, the bearer of the child is simply a means for his arrival and that she does not have the right to terminate God’s will.

Like seriously?! Ask me. If you were married three months, and get pregnant with this child you did not plan for, wont you be torn between the idea of considering this situation as being saddled with something you did not want right now, and the above mentioned theory of the child being the will of God? You will be burdened not just with your consciences poking at you but also by the elders in the family who will not give you even a moment to think this out and will push you into this. Result? You swing between feelings of uncertainty of the future and the impending that having this child will bring, and feelings of wanting to be happy to be blessed with a child without any effort taking into account all the troubles women go through in the process of bearing a child.

Having a child is just not a thing of joy. For an educated person, who believes in the fact that it is sensible to take up a responsibility only when you’re prepared for it, is it not a matter of tomfoolery? It is only rational to discern that a career you have worked so hard to achieve, a life that you dreamt with the person you love, are not things that can be cast aside by something that is going to loom large all over your life. A child is a life altering element in a man or a woman’s life. There are finances to think of, whether or not you can afford your child the kind of life you’d want him to have, the education, your life, and your dreams. Is it fair, to you or the kid; to bring him/her into a mediocre life, that just got mediocre still just because you decided to ward off the feeling of guilt you will carry if you’d have decided to let go of it.

The best thing to avoid falling into a pit like this is by being really careful. We never realize how a moment of careless abandon will land us in a soup we don’t want to be in. A couple have every right to terminate a pregnancy if the aren’t prepared for a child. In today’s world, with your house rent being a third of your salary, it is stupidity to accidentally stumble into such a situation and force yourself into turning the theory of the subject around, contrary to what you’re feeling inside. If you believe that you are not happy with it, and that going through with such a thing is not right for you then nobody has the right to force you to do otherwise. Happiness is a decision for what I have come to understand. Decide to be happy. Let the people talk. Don’t they always anyway?

Pallavini Patra

Indian. Odia. Architect. Poet. Writer. Wannabe Photographer. Foodie. In love with life. And everything about it.