Samara perpetually questioned herself. She was confused, her life conflicted and chaotic. She thought to herself and her mind never stopped talking. It kind of went like this –
I don’t know what to do. It’s all getting way too much. It’s like I’m constantly fighting battles I don’t ever want to be a part of. I grew up through the toughest and roughest patches I’d ever faced. But that one nightmare haunts me. It has its different versions but it always leaves me breathless, huffing and puffing in the middle of the night.
It’s been occurring since I was a little baby girl. I never really understood what made it occur. They say it might have to do with stress or can be a story I once heard or something I once watched on TV. But the way it makes my heart skip each time it happens, it leaves a traumatizing effect on me. Who knew nightmares could scare the shit out of someone. Yet I loved the initial happy part of that dream before it turned into that battle where I was running for my life. The swirl of emotions and the events day before probably triggered it all. It’s funny how dreams and nightmares work. I’ve always been intrigued by dream psychology. Does a dream really signify something? Or is it everything that’s bottled up inside of me? Scared after last night’s big bad dream, the happy part of it made me smile, made me think of something that was very precious to my heart, someone that I’d learned to stay away from and yet was drawn to so majorly. Memories, memories, now what do we do with the past? I plan to paint my canvas with the colours of now, the vibrant colours of the present. The past needs to be left alone and the future needs to surprise me. Yes, those hurdles remain and new ones appear, but I am the strong one who survived through a lot. So does the world really think it can stop me from blooming to my fullest like a sunflower during spring? I think
And so she drifted into sleep after the little reality check episode with the satisfaction of self-realisation. She was unstoppable.