Just like always it rests there on the chair, the same one I pick it from and the same one I launch it on every day. There is nothing unusual about it, my bag is the same deep blue with two silver beads hanging from it, sitting on the tri-colored chair’s blue base it’s shining today and that very fact is unusual and for the first time in days I really notice it.
It’s not the kind of shine I usually see when the sun rays hit it, it is different today very quiet, very serene and when I look around I notice that that’s not the only thing that’s shining today. Sitting at my everyday place I also notice the light blue sky from behind my dark brown curtains and the cover of my 4th Harry Potter book.
It is strange when you start noticing such things that form a pattern and it is so weird when it is as though life is giving you signs but confusing because you just can’t pick up the simple hints. The instant I think of this theory, blue strikes up again and I can’t help but wonder what it is supposed to mean. So I jot down whatever blue tells me and the words I come with are the very words any person would think of.
Calm, Beautiful, Honest, Still, Quiet and Pure and then as though I was missing the obvious my mind says the word “Death” and everything starts falling into place. One word links it all, joining the missing pieces of the puzzle together and all there is to it is a deadly silence that lingers and nothing more can be said about it.
Only thinking the word plays the memories that were meant to be locked up perhaps to be pondered upon later, at a more suitable time but since I can’t really help it I let it be for now, thinking maybe this has something good attached to it, a learning, a beginning or a story but there comes nothing even after the slow movie finally ends with just another dab of blue, my tears.
It wouldn’t have taken long I tell myself, had I really paid attention. The thought was never morbid just a sad realization that the one who has gone will never come back, just like the clock that ticks and time never waits for you and too will go when it’s time, leaving behind someone like you, someone who cares and can’t stop asking why? Why him? Why us?
Of course there is no story nor is there a learning there is just a lesson. Things happen, time passes, places change and people die but life goes on because it has to and you have to make it go on because that is how it is supposed to be. Everybody has to move on.
Keep the memories and cherish the past think not about he who cannot come back and how unfair life was to him but he who left so much for you, he who taught you how to live and dream and he who made you value life because in the end when it is the final call it will not matter how much you wallowed but how much you lived.
Don’t look at death with eyes full of questions and anger because what is meant to be is meant to be and death is inevitable. Stop worrying about what is not in your hands and stop crying about what you cannot change. Be grateful for each new day that has been showered upon you, live it.
It has to happen, it will happen to you too one day and when that shall come embrace it with grace and die warm for you only said death is beautiful and pure and the ones who have gone are resting in peace happily and the next time you look up at the still blue sky see not how quiet it is and how many friends reside there in but that they are all watching you from the sacred blue heaven where everyone will end up one day.