The Real Meaning of Family

India is one of the few countries in the world that allows the option of surrogate mothers; a boon for many barren women and now for some gay couples as well. Recentl,y I’ve come across a lot of articles and stories on the news as to how gay couples come to India in order to be able to start their own family. In fact just last week, an Israeli gay couple had their first child through a surrogate mother. They had come to India because it was a cheaper option as well as being closer in distance, as compared to the other option they had, that was London.

Now I’m all for gay rights, but I just feel that a child is supposed to be brought up in a home which has a mother and a father. That is how nature intended for it to be. Two fathers, no matter how loving and caring will never be able to compensate for a mother in the child’s life. I’m not condemning a same sex couple and their right to parenthood. All I’m saying is that it’s not “normal”. Growing up in a “normal” household, a child will see both his mother and father and will always be able to relate to either one of them. That is how a family functions, with a balance of the female and the male. There isn’t everything that a father can teach his child, a woman’s touch is always needed. What about the time when a girl child attains puberty? If it were a boy, then it’s the father who usually explains it to him, but what in the case of a girl? It’s always the mother who helps the girl through her menstruation cycle and so on and so forth. How can two fathers help at a time like this? A father knows how boys grow up and a mother will know the same for a girl and that’s how they can relate to each other.

The fact that two men even need a surrogate mother to begin with, should be hint enough that nature never intended for such a family. And the same holds true for a lesbian couple as well. A child needs to be given a chance for “normalcy” and for that to happen, he or she has to have both, a mother and a father. That’s what a family is, a mother, a father and the child.

Rohan Malhotra

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