From over a month I was thinking what to write upon. Many topics came to my mind, but somehow this one clicked more than all. Believe me if some years back I would have tried to speak on it I would have spoken just for the sake of speaking but today as I speak from my heart. Even today I think that after living one third of my life it is still not enough to know the essence of living. But still I have learnt how to live a bit of it. Today as I stand on the threshold of my life stepping into my twenty something’s. I realize that the journey from adolescence to youthful adulthood was filled with amazing moments of which some changed my life. Today I would like to share with you one such moment.
The day I stepped into college to the day I was in my second year of college appearing for my data structure practical exam. I always thought that Love is a concept only suited to Bollywood movies and nothing like true love actually existed in the world. I considered all those students falling in love as bad sons and bad daughters. But then this practical exam though did not fetch me an A but definitely fetched me something more valuable than that.
I was nervously sitting at my place trying hard to replay in my mind the answer of all the probable questions to be asked in the viva. I was going crazy trying to figure out how pushing and popping of stack and traversing of linked list is done. With so many last minute doubts in my mind revision did not seem to wind up. And as if this was not enough to add to my woes, God made the most handsome and the most intelligent guy sit next to me.
Let me tell you I was not the one to get easily distracted by all this. But the fact that I knew that his amazingly mysterious eyes had been following me for some time made me a bit conscious. On top of that his every glance pierced a part of me. I was fantastically thrilled by the feeling but shooed it away as a negative one. I tried concentrating on linked lists and queues instead of thinking of linking our eye contacts and queuing my feelings for him. With each tick of the clock my heart was pacing harder with the notion of giving the viva. Finally my turn came and on seeing the stern face of my DS teacher I wondered that when there’s a teacher that I want to be taught from, I end up with the one whom I don’t want. And when I do get the ones that I want, it’s when they end up changing their ways, and decide to turn into merciless tyrants. After half an hour’s grueling session I ended up messing up my viva. I knew that my unnecessary anxiety and tension had made things worse than they actually were. Seeing my anxiety rocketing the sky as usually the inflation in India does, he finally asked me.
“Hey, you seem quite nervous, is everything fine?”
My orthodox heart thumped harder and raced miles with such speed that I wondered that any time it would come out. I did not want to tell him the reason of my anxiety as I did not want to sound dumb to have screwed my DS practical. But somehow my lips did not listen to me and answered
“I screwed my DS practical…..”
“Hey, it is fine…at times it is cool screwing… after all it is not the end of the world.”
Listening to all his prophetic talks I felt like telling him why don’t you flunk and then I will ask you how cool it is. But somehow every time I saw that cute smile on his face my heart melted like a snowflake melts on touching the ground.
“I think you need a cup of coffee to feel a bit better.” He asked. Though I wanted to say no but I muttered “yes” against all my coy wishes. Both of us walked to the college canteen for a cup of coffee. We chatted a lot and more than the magic of his eyes the magic of his words made me feel much better. His every word got carved in my mind and I felt being in a world free from all worries and tensions of life.
As we sipped the coffee to the bottom we walked on the road leading to our hostels. The silhouettes of surreal sunrays surmounting the horizon gave me a warm tingling sensation as I stopped to witness the eclectic landscape. Suddenly I could see a handsome strand of hair falling on the right half of his forehead again and again and being blown away by the breeze repeatedly. I swear I hated the breeze so much by then though the reason of that hatred was not clear to me. The day ended in this picture perfect place of scenic vistas, the whispering winds whooshing me into a deep rest of night with a sweet peaceful melody humming in my mind.
But it did not take me much time to know the reason of that hatred. I realized that having him in my life meant being in perfect harmony and perfect bliss which is beyond any words to give it justice. Finally I embraced the feeling of being in love from which I have been running away.
It all started with that DS practical that although did not teach me how to form a linked list or push and pop a stack but taught me that love can push you to an extent that all your emotions pop up in a spur of the moment. Falling in love made me a completely different person as it made me realize that it is fun to be living. I came to know that the most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one’s relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy.
He made me learn two very important lessons of life. Embrace the feeling that lies deep down in your heart for if you do so you will find that you have been granted with so much more than you ever wanted. So when in love don’t try running from it instead cherish it.
Second lesson he did not tell me but I deciphered was that life is like a grindstone, whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends on what you are made of. So whenever you face difficulties instead of cribbing or regretting remember that you are what your mind perceives you to be.
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