The Molly-Coddled Few

Not working in office, taking the wrong decisions and passing the buck is truly hard work. Or so the Sixth Central Pay Commission thinks – our revered gazetted officers are all set to receive a salary hike of upto 52 per cent. Honestly, those who think hard work pays, need a reality check. Being a gazetted officer pays much more! Skeptics might dismiss the Pay Panel as irrational, however, this decision comes after taking the current situation into serious consideration. The country’s inflation is booming and this has been hurting the common man. Now, unfortunately for our babus, this means a slack in the rate at which their palms will grease. Hence, money will be hard to come by for these ‘upholders’ of vested interests. Therefore, is it not justified that a 50 per cent raise be granted to them to make up for the loss? Or do we seriously expect them to survive without the basic necessities such as a Mercedes, a big bungalow and a shopping mall?

On the eve of Holi, casting aside all inhibitions (and any trace of human compassion), L. K. Advani declared Narendra Modi as his potential successor. A man responsible for the brutal murder of hundreds of human beings does indeed deserve to be Advani’s successor. Since it is often alleged that Advani is a man without scruples, it is only fitting for a man like Modi, who believes in taking inhumanity to a newer level, to succeed him. After all, all old sayings ask sons to be one step better than their father.

Talking of successors, we cannot ignore our beloved Rahul Gandhi. In a bid to step out of his mother’s shadow, he has initiated an all-India tour, privileging the underprivileged with his very precious time. The poor 37 year old ‘toddler’ soon had to face the Orissa Police’s ire, as he slipped out into the darkness of the night without informing his entourage. A man out to assert himself and he receives flak for wanting to step out unannounced! Small wonder that politics of India have oldies ruling the roost. Who would want to be babied at the age of 37? Perhaps even Rahul Gandhi needs a lesson in safety. Does he know not to trust strangers? Especially those who hand out toffees and ice-creams?

Even Mr. Ramadoss has been trying his best to reign in his errant youth. Perhaps, he was unsatisfied with just ensuring that AIIMS boils in corruption, through successfully ousting Mr. Venugopal. He wants to teach the youth a lesson too. Stupid Gen X – believing that industrial pollution, dirty rivers, wicked viruses and pesticides-cum-soft drinks to be health hazards. Do they not know that smoking is a million times more hazardous?.

Only the government, through its very lax policies and (personal) profit driven decisions, has the right to ensure the common man’s death. How dare any one try to get cancer by means of chain-smoking? Only cancer through generator fuel and leaked nuclear waste is allowed. Please forgive the author for such morbid insights. The most ridiculous thing being done is the ban placed on smoking and the continuousness of the flourishing sale of tobacco. Perhaps even more ridiculous is setting up of monitors in classes to ensure that students do not smoke. Monitors in colleges? If such things are enforced, we will invariably always remain kids. Not the most pleasant of thought.

Coming back to the theme of parenting, it sure was heartening to see how the media (worldwide) has shifted its focus with respect to the Keeling case. The 15- year-old was raped and killed. However, one needs to comment on Fiona’s parenting skills. Let the bartender and the drug peddler be. After all, boys will be boys. It is, of course, the mother who should be stoned and hung by her thumb for ‘bad parenting’. Not biased at all, are we?

Shravya Jain


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