When I was 5, I saw a beautiful movie titled Phool aur Kante. And this made me ‘love’ crazy! The picture I developed in my nutshell brain was that love was all about singing songs in gardens, messing in corners, fighting with strong built street riders and then, ultimately, having a clash with father-in-law to win the lady!
I developed peculiar notions about all the fathers having a daughter or two. Furthermore, I considered all teenage girls to be victims under household terrorists (read : father). I used to pity those sweet faces and innocent eyes, whose voices rammed so much that they became thin and low pitched. These poor goddesses of luck and wealth (as they are referred in our Bollywood movies) gained all my moral support and empathy.
Then one day, which incidentally was a cool beautiful spring day, I fell in love with one of these goddesses. It was in my tuition class where she was a new entrant. Calm, innocent, sweet and beautiful, like an angel, I thought. It was a class that had three rows and she sat in the front row, on the seat just in front of me. I chose to take it as more as a connection of the souls than mere coincidence. Wearing a white top, she was looking like a real angel and I can still smell the fragrance of her Dabar Amla hair oil in my nasal canals. That class got over swiftly and I saw my lady love to go out of the class as it emptied. I nearly missed having an accident on my way back home that evening, though it was the driver’s mistake, who was driving while day-dreaming. However, I forgave him.
I made no delay in proposing to my soulmate, as I have learnt from many heroes whose delay in professing their love had resulted into a sad end of the movie. We were made for each other (as Kajol was, for SRK in DDLJ); she accepted me as her Lord. I started searching for good gardens and deserted locations to sing songs and become intimate when it rained. It was a tough task. I came to the conclusion that any park is empty only if its guard is given a Rs.500 ‘leaf’. Now, for funding, I approached my friends, as all heroes go, to get money for their girlfriend’s shopping and dates. But I discovered that these were not those ideal friends that our lucky hero possesses. Anyway, I arranged the funds by selling my guitar, which I bought and learnt just to impress my heroine.
Now, I asked my maiden lady to come to the garden but I was shocked when she informed me that she considered gardens very cheap and old-fashioned, and that she felt that we should date at CCD or McD, and the likes. Well, though I was shocked; but, as a hero should always keep the heroine happy, I followed obediently followed her commands. Then one day, we were together in the parking area of a mall when it rained and again my movie dreams started to take me over. I held the hands of my lady firmly and heard a tweak of breaking of her favorite bracelet. I maintained the forum by promising to fulfill the losses by getting a new bracelet for her, and escaped a not-so-romantic quarrel.
Then the quintessential action day came, for which I have been going to the gym. A guy came to my girl and held her hand. I made no delay in delivering him a tight knock, but realized that my wrist was caught and twisted like a rope. My lady, as she should, pledged before that villain to leave me and I said no to her, as a hero should have said. However, this villain was good enough to listen to a girl. And then when they both turned their back towards me and went away, I realized that he was her new boyfriend.
And I was left wondering about the discretion of the film-makers in showing just the smiles and tears of the heroine, while conveniently concealing the oohs and aahs of a hero!
[image by how i see the world]