Although I may be thought to be too juvenile to comment upon a subject of such complexilty, owing to the respect given to the experienced lot, it’s one subject, no matter what one’s age might be, everyone has given some thought to-Marriage.
But the fact remains that whenever someone is opinionated in a manner aversive to the conventional meaning of this institution, it’s met with a pat on the back and the words – “you’re too young to get it” being blared out accompanied with a cynical smile. Marriage in a way is an institution which in itself has become too obsolete in meaning., or to say, that its true meaning got stuck somewhere in time, with the changing mindset of the people leaving it far behind .In a way people who have a successful marriage, have in some way or the other always adjusted to the changing times, and have kept the meaning of their marriage alive by constantly bringing about some subtle changes to keep the proverbial ball rolling.
What I am talking about here are marriages which do not stand the test of time, which fall apart for reasons predicted before two people agreed to spend their entire lives together. Because we have to agree to the fact, that there are bound to be differences, which at times are sorted out at their own level, but if they aren’t, then to say the worst they end up in a total mess.
So the best way to find a solution to this problem is to let the two people ‘acclimatize’ to each others mannerisms, attitudes and habits before they agree to actually get married, and to remove any sort of doubt from my reader’s minds,Yes,I am talking about live-in relationships. Accepted throughout most societies, this practice still needs to find a comfortable place in ours. Even though this practice is met with a series of revolting thoughts, we need to see it as a solution to the problem of increasing divorce rates. Not that people who accept this way of living have a hundred percent chance of having a successful marriage, but it is just a mere attempt to bring back the lost glory which the word “marriage” once had associated to it.
Now how people contest this idea is by saying that there is that possibility, and to quite a large extent, of the two people to be involved physically. This truly and entirely depends upon the mindset and level of acceptance of the people involved.
I am neither trying to glorify ‘One night stands’ nor am I giving marriage counseling tips. The point trying to be driven home is that if after a certain point of time, if it is felt that things do not fall into place, it is better to walk out of this arrangement than to walk out of a marriage. People misconstrue this arrangement as a ‘Hit and Trial’ method to a successful marriage but what they don’t get is that it’s two people, who were although willing to get married, taking small and steady steps together to build a strong marriage which in all senses can withstand any to be fatal blows of time.
Amanjit Singh Khanna