Very Very Filmi

“The Indian Film Industry is a bit over-the-top”. This according to me is the world’s greatest understatement. Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti the Indian Film Industry. There have been a number of Indian movies, where the directors and actors have really out-done themselves. But a majority of the movies are far, far away from reality and practicality. I can give you various examples, but you will get the point with my favourite few.

I remember a particular movie, where the hero gets shot at six or eight times. Normally, a person would die within three shots. But our protagonist manages to crawl (read walk) through a few towns, to find the heroine in order to profess his undying love for her (a bit too late in my opinion). If that is not enough, he also manages to sing a sad song (about the big bad world you know) for all his spectators (none of whom were of the opinion that six bullets can be fatal enough to call for medical attention).

Foreign locales are a hit with Indian directors. The problem arises when they don’t quite know how to use these exotic destinations. If I may have your attention: we have two lovers, both of whom are poor and are wondering just how they will sustain their love. Suddenly, the actor breaks into a song (yet again) and magically (there is no other explanation) they are transported to the Swiss Alps, when minutes ago, they were residing in a poor jhopadpatti. Not to mention that they were transported in their summer clothes, and are dancing merrily, oblivious of the freezing climate.

This is one of my personal favourites: our actor has been severely wounded. So much so, that he now looks mummified (what with all the bandages). The doctors have given their standard reply, “Ise dawaaon ki nahin, duaaon ki zaroorat hai”

(Only prayers and not medicines can save him). With that kind of a statement, you wouldn’t expect him to fight off five hefty goons and emerge victorious, would you? Well, that only tells us that we must never ever underestimate the Indian actors. Because even when they are on their death beds, they will have enough energy to fight people twice their size.

Do you guys believe in doosra janam (rebirth to be precise)? Well, our directors truly believe in it, and show case it in the most bizarre manner ever! The cruel villain kills the hero and heroine in order to separate them. But that is not the end of his ordeal. The heroine is born again, this time as a human snake. Snake? Are you kidding me? She decides to bite him (through which she will inject her poison and seek revenge.*evil laughter*). How very ‘normal’ of her.

Even as you laugh reading these examples (or not), there is something to ponder over here. Indians, by and large, live in a world of make-believe. In order to escape the realties of our lives, we seek refuge in these movies. When the couple gets transported to the Swiss Alps, somewhere deep down, we hope that one day it would be us holidaying there (not necessarily dancing though). Where being over-the-top is concerned, our directors will say, that they make movies that have mass appeal. So if re-birth of a woman as a human snake sells, so be it. Most of us consider ourselves way too “sophisticated” to watch such movies. But the reality is, that these movies are not made for us *sob sob*. They are made for the millions residing in villages and small towns.

Despite being unrealistic, Indian movies have a feel-good factor attached to them. The hero always wins in the end and along with the heroine lives happily ever after. An old lady may be blind from birth, but one visit to the temple, returns her aankhon ki roshni. Brothers separated at the Kumbh Mela, reunite after twenty five long years. Sigh, if only life was this perfect.

Anam Mittra


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